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Saying “NO” to drugs is one thing, but saying “NO” to cheese is quite another. And for nacho lovers it’s downright impossible! However, Dr. Neal Barnard, author of “Breaking the Food Seduction“ delves into why people are addicted to various foods.

In Chapter 4 entitled, “Opiates on a Cracker: The Cheese Seduction,” the good Doctor explains that “Cheese is particularly addictive because it contains small amounts of morphine made in the cow’s liver. When the dairy protein breaks apart in the stomach, it releases the opiate molecules.” He goes on to say “[Cheese] has about one-tenth the strength of morphine, and while that may not sound like much, because the foods are so available it’s easy to satisfy a fix.”

While I don’t advocate curbing your daily cheese intake for the sake of “health,” it is interesting to learn and now know why cheese is so damn good. And knowing is half the battle.

GO JOE!!

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From a soft and creamy wedge of Camembert, to a firm block of cheddar, cheese comes in a variety of states, sizes, and shapes. Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison are taking cheese shapes to another level by cutting patterns using a pulsed ultraviolet laser.

“One motivation is the ability to cut cheese into fancy shapes that appeal to kids, such as a dinosaur or letters. The fast food industry is very interested in that idea. Basically, the cutting process is cold laser ablation, like that in laser eye surgery.”
Xiaochun Li, UW Researcher

While I congratulate Li and his fellow researchers on their cheese experiments, I personally could care less about the shape of my cheese. It’s all going to end up the same way…melted.

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Story suggestion by: Shara M. Email us a story.

INT. NAPOLEON’S HOUSE – CONTINUOUS

The kitchen is retro with formica countertops and dark stained cabinets. KIP (Napoleon’s brother) is seen making nachos. Gripping a large block of cheddar cheese and grating it over a plate of tortilla chips, it is quiet until the phone rings. KIP answers.

KIP Hi.

NAPOLEON Is Grandma there?

KIP No, she’s getting her hair done.

NAPOLEON [SIGHS]

KIP What do you need?

NAPOLEON Can you just go get her for me?

KIP I’m really busy right now.

This classic nacho scene in Napoleon Dynamite is monumental. Just as the Karate Kid inspired kids around the world to ask their mothers to sign them up for Karate lessons, this pivotal scene demonstrated that nachos are more than just a local pub appetizer or sporting event snack. Nachos could be consumed at home. And making nachos is as easy as grating some cheddar on chips. Let’s just hope Kip remembered to nuke those bad boys a bit before feasting.

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We’ve all got dreams and aspirations. Fame, fortune, family. These are all common milestones for human success. For cheese, I imagine success would come in the form of being melted down and drizzled on chips.

The West Country Farmhouse Cheesemakers has blessed the web by allowing the world to witness a rack of cheddar mature. What is the fate of this cheese? What will it become when it’s all growns up? We may never know. But we can all watch and keep our fingers crossed.

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